Inevitably, you will probably give or receive someone something awkward,"You don't like my 50 year old single malt..what's that you say? oh...AA?"
Instead of turning to a pauncy New York Times gift guide, let me stop you right there. Walking through my neighborhood the other day, I found a present that could cover all your gift-giving needs. For that special person in your life...
...
The deceased Tamil Tiger leader Velupillai Prabhakaran bejeweled oyster!
Just look at his soulful eyes just wishing you a happy holiday.
A happy holiday and an independent Tamil state.
The rhinestones around the frame really bring out that enchanting, mischevious (read: terrorist) glint in his eyes.
And who doesn't love oysters? I was just looking at my desk the other day, and thinking what I really needed was an ornamental gold oyster. But, how many ornamental gold oysters also double as shrines to deceased rebel group leaders? This is really a one of a kind, folks.
For the person in your life that has everything. Even a Yassir Arafat emerald-incrusted spoon rest.
Merry Christmas.
2 comments:
Did you just ruin my Christmas present? Because I hope you did. Seriously. That is the best gift a person could get. What a find! I will dream of the sheer sensuous beauty of that terrorist oyster tonight.
I MISS THE 10TH ARRONDISSEMENT PRECISELY FOR THIS REASON!
Great post.
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