fat and razy americans!

My postings seem more and more reminiscent of the front half of Atlantic Monthly. Hey, you want a novel? Read a book. This is a blog.

So, in keeping with the trend of copping out, I'm going to compile my favorite back-handed anti-American insults in no particular order of ridiculousness.

1. (as I'm walking up 5 flights of stairs w/another British girl)
me, oct.2006: "Man, I'm so out of shape" (or some idle small talk along those lines)
british girl: "Don't worry you'll get used to the walking"

I came almost directly from Paris, slut. Why don't you call me a fat, lazy American and save both of us some time.

2. me: "Yeah, I'm doing an LLM in Islamic Law."
british man: "Islamic Law? That's progressive for an American!"

There are so many sarky responses to that comment, I don't even know where to begin. Guy ended up being really pleasant in the end, but, really. I had to do my best from jabbing my heel into his eye. Or stoning him. (heh)


3. (potential house viewer #1): "Well, the flat's lovely and i do really love Americans..."
Thank you, I think? For once, it's nice to be in a desirable minority. Awesome! I'm a commodity !

4. (every French person, just generally) "C'est trop Americain, ca..."
(in just about every situation)
You could be sitting next to a Parisian who is eating a cheeseburger and fries, and order yourself a portion. "God, you're so American!" they'd scoff. Whereas, luckily, un cheeseburgeur is oh-so-French.

Gah! I'm drawing a blank here, but this is really just the tip of the iceberg.
Look for updates. Peoples' pre-conceptions about America/Americans never cease to amaze me. Almost as amazing as Americans' perceptions of Europe.

xoxo

Staring at the asphalt wondering...

Here's a game kids: How to best sum up all the places you've lived. Write what's in a five block radius around it.
It's kind of funny on paper, innit?
Feel free to play along.

Paris:
Boulevard Emile Augier, 16th arrondissement
Boulangeries: 2
Grocery Stores:0
Laundromats: -1 (you had to practically walk into a new arrondissement)
Florists:1
Upscale designer thriftshop:1
Snooty Oyster restaurant: 1

London flat #1
Essex Road, N1
Bingo Halls: 1
Pubs: 2 within a 1/2 block
SPAR: 1
Taxidermists: 1 (really)
Cafe: 1
Fishmongers:1
Butchers:1
Fruiterers:1

London flat #2
Cheshire Street, E2
Art Galleries: 1
Independent Video Shop:1
Independent Jewelry Designer: 1
Independent Interior Design store:2
Retro Interior Design store:1
Anything not independent: 0
Leather Shops:4
Curry Houses: 100
Tesco:0
Illegal vendors on Sunday: dozens, if not hundreds

back to writing.
"freelance writing" should have a disclaimer on "needing self motivation" argh.
f

An exception

I don't typically like to devote blog entries to websites, but this is too cool.
http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

The concept is you send this guy your secrets on a postcard. He scans them and publishes them on this blog.

(take a minute to let that sink in)

Some are absolutely amazing, and to be honest, it seems far too interesting and important a project to be just on a blog. Kind of like my blog. Just kidding.
(Thanks mowry, for the site)

Nice meeting you, you're lame

I once was part of a facebook group called, "I dislike 85% of the people I meet" but based on recent recalculations, it's approximately %75. Look what a generous, tolerant person I am. I am NOT repulsed by %25 of the people I meet. I call this recent sample group, "People that have come to see my flat/that I may soon be living with," quite unfortunately. Due to a crackhead employer/work permit issues, my dearly loved flatmate will be leaving the oasis of the East End.

Thus, enter the 4 total strangers that I've met over the past few days.

No.1. Australian male, 27, looks like he plays with star wars figurines in his spare time. Says he's a journalist, but, in an internal monologue, I suggest that he only writes a blog about his fantasy basketball team.

No.2. Australian girl. Quite liked her. There's always an exception. (update: naturally, she decided she wanted to live this far east. Far east, my heiny). On second thought, she sucks for not appreciating the neighborhood.

No. 3. Dweeby French Girl. Is it wrong to dislike people because they're just that ugly?
On the plus side, she does have a subscription to the Economist, and for once, I will look good next to a French girl.

No. 4. The Princess. I'm sorry, if you've clearly demonstrated just how stupid you are before we've even met, I can't imagine that we'll have a beautiful future together.And no, when I'm waiting on a street corner for you, "running into a shop because i just HAD to have that dress" is not a legitimate excuse for being late. Piss off.

So, wish me luck, people. I don't have much patience for the general population, and I need a wicked new flatmate. Know anyone (that doesn't suck) that needs a flat in London?