Something this wrong can't be anything but hilarious.
from BBC News:
"Pelican swallows pigeon in park"
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
London's other white meat.
Something this wrong can't be anything but hilarious.
from BBC News:
"Pelican swallows pigeon in park"
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Here's to you, wallet
I've tried to adapt since I've come to England.
I can dance with one hand raised, punching the air, to just about any song. Similarly, my butt and hips have become redundant while dancing.
Furthermore, I enjoy celebrating the various holidays and celebrations of the UK. Here in London, The Brick Lane Festival was pretty sweet, and I'm looking forward to a cozy British Christmas season.
Unfortunately, my wallet decided to celebrate a holiday of it's own--
The (british) National ID Fraud Prevention Week. By getting itself stolen. I kid you not: http://www.moneyextra.com/features/feature-national-identity-024347.html
There is a British National ID Fraud Prevention week, FAR different from the American National ID Fraud protection week, which is in February. Why we need two different weeks for prevention and protection, I don't know. Why even we need these weeks AT ALL is a greater mystery. AND perhaps the greatest mystery of all is why my wallet wanted to martyr itself in the hands of some Pikey.
At least I am, entirely-accessories included-getting into the spirit of things. And so, I raise my glass to you, wallet, as you suffer a painful death in the hands of some icky vagrant. At least you know how to celebrate.
Wallet, far right, treating itself to some beers, circa February 2006
I can dance with one hand raised, punching the air, to just about any song. Similarly, my butt and hips have become redundant while dancing.
Furthermore, I enjoy celebrating the various holidays and celebrations of the UK. Here in London, The Brick Lane Festival was pretty sweet, and I'm looking forward to a cozy British Christmas season.
Unfortunately, my wallet decided to celebrate a holiday of it's own--
The (british) National ID Fraud Prevention Week. By getting itself stolen. I kid you not: http://www.moneyextra.com/features/feature-national-identity-024347.html
There is a British National ID Fraud Prevention week, FAR different from the American National ID Fraud protection week, which is in February. Why we need two different weeks for prevention and protection, I don't know. Why even we need these weeks AT ALL is a greater mystery. AND perhaps the greatest mystery of all is why my wallet wanted to martyr itself in the hands of some Pikey.
At least I am, entirely-accessories included-getting into the spirit of things. And so, I raise my glass to you, wallet, as you suffer a painful death in the hands of some icky vagrant. At least you know how to celebrate.
Wallet, far right, treating itself to some beers, circa February 2006
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Like sex on two wheels.
'Post more regularly,' they say. When the fans speak, I've got to listen.
There haven't been any large, embarassing or super-interesting moments recently, and thus, I've been hesitant to write. But, I'm in London- nothing's really ever that boring.
And so, with a slight nod to Alice Carney, I present to you, what's hot/not, L-Town version.
What's Hot:
Having classmates wear burqas. It definitely shakes up any image you might have of them being oppressed shrinking violets. On the contrary, I'm intimidated. The class we have together is Islamic Law- In an academic debate, one of us follows an interpretation of it, and one doesn't...!(not to mention all the various sunna that I'm learning I would be breaking...)
What's Not:
The awkwardness that came when I realized I had NO way of recognizing them outside of the classroom. I mean, we're not talking minimalist, sparkly, multi-colored veils here. I mean, up-to-the-eyelids black gowns, transforming them into black flying squirrels. And so I end up awkwardly waving at both of the girls at SOAS that wear them, not knowing which one I sat next to in class...
Especially Not Hot:
British Home Secretary Jack Straw expressing his desire that women not wear them (at least when they're talking to him..) articleness: --although it must be said it's been blown up more in the press than what he actually said...why is he spoiling for this fight?!
Hot:
The Healthy Urban Lifestyle. A phrase first coined by Joseph, it refers to walking everywhere (and maintaining that Swan-like thinness) and running on crowded Urban streets. Car exhaust? Bah! Nothing!
Not:
Running on the beach. Who needs the ocean when you can have asphalt?
Hot:
Angel. The tube station and it's environs, where I live.
Not:
The phrase "daddy's little angel", the angel emoticon, and the slutty angel Halloween outfit. I'm reclaiming Angel for Islington!
Hot:
My bicycle. Potentially, the sexiest thing ever. She is 80's fabulous, white with red stripes a 10 speed racing bike. WITH 90's kellogg's cereal box rooster ornaments on the spokes..(or so my British friends tell me) If I go on, this will slowly become a sort of personal-ad-sounding and maybe even slightly pornographic. Which is not okay, because she's MINE, bitches.
So far, no accidents. I've been bicycling around London for the past day, and yes I'm very proud of the fact that I'm still in one piece.
Not:
Sorry, nothing even vaguely un-hot about my bicycle. Although, I'm shopping around for a name...any suggestions?
There haven't been any large, embarassing or super-interesting moments recently, and thus, I've been hesitant to write. But, I'm in London- nothing's really ever that boring.
And so, with a slight nod to Alice Carney, I present to you, what's hot/not, L-Town version.
What's Hot:
Having classmates wear burqas. It definitely shakes up any image you might have of them being oppressed shrinking violets. On the contrary, I'm intimidated. The class we have together is Islamic Law- In an academic debate, one of us follows an interpretation of it, and one doesn't...!(not to mention all the various sunna that I'm learning I would be breaking...)
What's Not:
The awkwardness that came when I realized I had NO way of recognizing them outside of the classroom. I mean, we're not talking minimalist, sparkly, multi-colored veils here. I mean, up-to-the-eyelids black gowns, transforming them into black flying squirrels. And so I end up awkwardly waving at both of the girls at SOAS that wear them, not knowing which one I sat next to in class...
Especially Not Hot:
British Home Secretary Jack Straw expressing his desire that women not wear them (at least when they're talking to him..) articleness: --although it must be said it's been blown up more in the press than what he actually said...why is he spoiling for this fight?!
Hot:
The Healthy Urban Lifestyle. A phrase first coined by Joseph, it refers to walking everywhere (and maintaining that Swan-like thinness) and running on crowded Urban streets. Car exhaust? Bah! Nothing!
Not:
Running on the beach. Who needs the ocean when you can have asphalt?
Hot:
Angel. The tube station and it's environs, where I live.
Not:
The phrase "daddy's little angel", the angel emoticon, and the slutty angel Halloween outfit. I'm reclaiming Angel for Islington!
Hot:
My bicycle. Potentially, the sexiest thing ever. She is 80's fabulous, white with red stripes a 10 speed racing bike. WITH 90's kellogg's cereal box rooster ornaments on the spokes..(or so my British friends tell me) If I go on, this will slowly become a sort of personal-ad-sounding and maybe even slightly pornographic. Which is not okay, because she's MINE, bitches.
So far, no accidents. I've been bicycling around London for the past day, and yes I'm very proud of the fact that I'm still in one piece.
Not:
Sorry, nothing even vaguely un-hot about my bicycle. Although, I'm shopping around for a name...any suggestions?
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Shari'a Legally Blonde
I am a nerd.
Keep in mind that I don't consider this to be a bad word. It's never stopped me from engaging in debauched behavior, nor enjoying myself to excess in various parts of the world.
But this thought, nevertheless, occured to me the other night, in a very posh bar somewhere near Goldman Sach's headquarters in London. I'm a few mixed drinks into the evening and I'm chatting with my friend's colleagues, all bankers.
10 minutes later, I'm almost in a fistfight with one of them. About grammar.
In more sober hindsight, it occured to me that 1) the girl that started the debate had what I've learned is an "un-posh" accent, and must've had a chip on her shoulder about it 2) I should really never ever do such things in social settings, ever ever again.
But I digress. The fight started because she said that "AMERICAN ISN'T ENGLISH."
This is my favorite fight to pick. No, American isn't English English, but i'll be damned if any linguist can tell me we speak an entirely different language. Structurally? The same. Spelling? Yeah, variations. Accent? sure, they've got the upper hand there. But I will not let Brits think they have the monopoly on the entire English language.
This is what I'm calmly trying to explain to her when I tap into her apparent massive insecurities.
"I speak a dialect of English, just like you speak a dialect of English," I say.
She turns slightly pink in the face.
"I may not speak the queen's english, but We are More Correct because we invented it!" (lame, lame argument).
I mumbled something about cockney rhyming slang, when her phone rang. At this point, I turn to a French friend who is sitting on the other side of me, ever so slightly scared of the whole conversation...
"Je m'excuse, mais, j'adore disputer..." She overhears this. "THAT'S it! I can't handle this! I know you're talking about me!"
I tried to translate to her that I was just excusing myself, and saying that I loved to argue, but all reason was lost on this one. I had another drink and bounced down Fleet Street.
........
Confirming my nerd-ness is my recent acceptance to a law program here, at the School of Oriental and African Studies in Islamic Law...I'm excited as hell, and almost late for my first class.
So, I'll be in London for the next year. Now it's your turn to visit.
Keep in mind that I don't consider this to be a bad word. It's never stopped me from engaging in debauched behavior, nor enjoying myself to excess in various parts of the world.
But this thought, nevertheless, occured to me the other night, in a very posh bar somewhere near Goldman Sach's headquarters in London. I'm a few mixed drinks into the evening and I'm chatting with my friend's colleagues, all bankers.
10 minutes later, I'm almost in a fistfight with one of them. About grammar.
In more sober hindsight, it occured to me that 1) the girl that started the debate had what I've learned is an "un-posh" accent, and must've had a chip on her shoulder about it 2) I should really never ever do such things in social settings, ever ever again.
But I digress. The fight started because she said that "AMERICAN ISN'T ENGLISH."
This is my favorite fight to pick. No, American isn't English English, but i'll be damned if any linguist can tell me we speak an entirely different language. Structurally? The same. Spelling? Yeah, variations. Accent? sure, they've got the upper hand there. But I will not let Brits think they have the monopoly on the entire English language.
This is what I'm calmly trying to explain to her when I tap into her apparent massive insecurities.
"I speak a dialect of English, just like you speak a dialect of English," I say.
She turns slightly pink in the face.
"I may not speak the queen's english, but We are More Correct because we invented it!" (lame, lame argument).
I mumbled something about cockney rhyming slang, when her phone rang. At this point, I turn to a French friend who is sitting on the other side of me, ever so slightly scared of the whole conversation...
"Je m'excuse, mais, j'adore disputer..." She overhears this. "THAT'S it! I can't handle this! I know you're talking about me!"
I tried to translate to her that I was just excusing myself, and saying that I loved to argue, but all reason was lost on this one. I had another drink and bounced down Fleet Street.
........
Confirming my nerd-ness is my recent acceptance to a law program here, at the School of Oriental and African Studies in Islamic Law...I'm excited as hell, and almost late for my first class.
So, I'll be in London for the next year. Now it's your turn to visit.
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