I received a forward the other day.
It was one of those, admittedly; fairly humorous “Men are so silly” forwards. And they are, girlfriend! It went along the lines of:
“Women showering: “Shampoo condition, exfoliate, scrub, blowdry, fluff, clean, exit bathroom”
Men showering: “Grunt; scratch balls, rince hair, leave shower, throw towel on bed. MEN ARE SO GROSS ISN’T THAT HILARIOUS.”
To begin with, I’m not as sure that there is a clean gender divide here. My wet towels seem to love to congregate on my bed, I shave my legs as little as possible, and I’m not a particularly fastidious conditioner-er.
Besides, without going into detail, I’ve had a fair few metrosexual boyfriends. Nosestrips and facial masks-type boyfriends. Anyways.
It occurred to me then that noone really has gone into Parisian showering habits:
IF YOU ARE LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE A SHOWER IN YOUR FLAT:
1. Turn on shower, stand outside shivering while water heats. Get spritzed by offshoots of faulty nozzle. Shiver.
2. Enter shower, hurt elbow closing plastic shower door. Hope said door doesn’t fall off.
3. Stand under trickling stream of nozzle. Try to imagine yourself getting clean. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.
4. Apply shampoo, lather, bang elbows on plastic door. Ignore rapidly-forming bruises. Beauty (and Cleanliness) is pain.
5. Note soap suds slowly trickling down body. Double task! Who needs shower gel?
6. Feel fuzzy legs, grab razor. Begin awkard samba to try and reach legs in the 2 sq foot box in which you are standing.
7. Fall over. Get up, attempt shaving legs again, bending leg in ‘crouching stork’ position.
8. Legs half-shaven, feel hot water running out. Leave shower immediately. One leg shaven is as good as two.
9. Repeat process every 3-5 days.
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5 comments:
what did you say about our shower nozzle? I DECALCIFIED IT TWO DAYS AGO!
I didn't know u had hairy legs.
Given how often I fall, it's just that I am in MORTAL FEAR every time I shave my legs...
Italian difference: Showerer must hold shower nozzle.
Outcome: Bathroom SOAKED by the fin.
yeah, don't forget the hard water. i think that's an integral part of parisian life.
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