Latvian humour

Imagine this pathway of websites, if you will.
I'm desperate to go on holiday. (In defense of my use of the word "holiday", I say that Madonna's "Holiday" trumps the Go-Go's "Vacation," no question)

Step 1: www.skyscanner.net allows you to search the cheapest destinations for your departure city. Latvia tops the list for London in June.

Step 2: Latvia? Current knowledge limited to Post-soviet Baltic State and a Seinfeld episode. www.wikipedia.org.

Step 3: Under "Latvia" article, is a link to "Latvian Humour."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latvian_humour

(imagine it being read in a very very slavic old man's voice, I'm thinkin' Billy Crystal as Miracle Max in Princess Bride)

Latvian humour
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Latvian humour often has jokes from different places around the world, as well as some influence from Russian humour and some jokes shared with Estonia and Lithuania. People from Latgale are often the target of Latvian jokes.

Some Latvian jokes play on the high numbers of Russians living in Latvia.

An old Latvian is walking down the street, sees a person that has just been killed by a falling brick and complains "Pity that a Latvian dies when there are so few Latvians." A bystander tells him that it is a Russian, not a Latvian, and the old man complains "Damn! There are so many Russians here so that there is not enough room for a brick to hit the ground."


Hilarious in ways I'm sure the authors never intended. Oh man. I need to stop laughing long enough to actually plan this holiday.

The Worst Time To...

Clever NYT forum...

While the following post is pretty heart-wrenching, the response says it all...



Best thing to do last Saturday night, 24 March at 1830:
Help out your friend up at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center who is comforting his son’s best friend who just lost both of his legs in Iraq.
Be with him as his son’s buddy keeps waking up from the drugs, realizing he has lost his legs, drifts to sleep, then wakes up 3 hours later to learn they are missing yet again.
Be with him as they have to cut away more of the dead material, realizing that there will be just about nothing left to which a prosthetic can be attached.
Be with him as he writes his son’s buddy’s mom about what is going on - how strong and hopeful and brave her son is. How amazing our faith is, whatever the religion.
Be with him as his son’s buddy calls his callsign out in his dreams, and the names of his mates in the humvee, all five of whom died on the scene.
America, this is happening every day.

— Posted by Jake




Worst place to post a heartbreaking Iraq story, probably ‘dramatized’: In a forum about eating out and buying cars.

— Posted by Candy

The best of The off-facebook photo series

Flotsam and jetsam from the past long while.

Hungarian houses of parliament, awesome old trams:



Parisian garbage men:



Milton. The Fiercest cat around.



The Old Course. St. Andrew's.














Dubrovnik, Croatia.


Covered Market, Barcelona.

fat and razy americans!

My postings seem more and more reminiscent of the front half of Atlantic Monthly. Hey, you want a novel? Read a book. This is a blog.

So, in keeping with the trend of copping out, I'm going to compile my favorite back-handed anti-American insults in no particular order of ridiculousness.

1. (as I'm walking up 5 flights of stairs w/another British girl)
me, oct.2006: "Man, I'm so out of shape" (or some idle small talk along those lines)
british girl: "Don't worry you'll get used to the walking"

I came almost directly from Paris, slut. Why don't you call me a fat, lazy American and save both of us some time.

2. me: "Yeah, I'm doing an LLM in Islamic Law."
british man: "Islamic Law? That's progressive for an American!"

There are so many sarky responses to that comment, I don't even know where to begin. Guy ended up being really pleasant in the end, but, really. I had to do my best from jabbing my heel into his eye. Or stoning him. (heh)


3. (potential house viewer #1): "Well, the flat's lovely and i do really love Americans..."
Thank you, I think? For once, it's nice to be in a desirable minority. Awesome! I'm a commodity !

4. (every French person, just generally) "C'est trop Americain, ca..."
(in just about every situation)
You could be sitting next to a Parisian who is eating a cheeseburger and fries, and order yourself a portion. "God, you're so American!" they'd scoff. Whereas, luckily, un cheeseburgeur is oh-so-French.

Gah! I'm drawing a blank here, but this is really just the tip of the iceberg.
Look for updates. Peoples' pre-conceptions about America/Americans never cease to amaze me. Almost as amazing as Americans' perceptions of Europe.

xoxo

Staring at the asphalt wondering...

Here's a game kids: How to best sum up all the places you've lived. Write what's in a five block radius around it.
It's kind of funny on paper, innit?
Feel free to play along.

Paris:
Boulevard Emile Augier, 16th arrondissement
Boulangeries: 2
Grocery Stores:0
Laundromats: -1 (you had to practically walk into a new arrondissement)
Florists:1
Upscale designer thriftshop:1
Snooty Oyster restaurant: 1

London flat #1
Essex Road, N1
Bingo Halls: 1
Pubs: 2 within a 1/2 block
SPAR: 1
Taxidermists: 1 (really)
Cafe: 1
Fishmongers:1
Butchers:1
Fruiterers:1

London flat #2
Cheshire Street, E2
Art Galleries: 1
Independent Video Shop:1
Independent Jewelry Designer: 1
Independent Interior Design store:2
Retro Interior Design store:1
Anything not independent: 0
Leather Shops:4
Curry Houses: 100
Tesco:0
Illegal vendors on Sunday: dozens, if not hundreds

back to writing.
"freelance writing" should have a disclaimer on "needing self motivation" argh.
f

An exception

I don't typically like to devote blog entries to websites, but this is too cool.
http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

The concept is you send this guy your secrets on a postcard. He scans them and publishes them on this blog.

(take a minute to let that sink in)

Some are absolutely amazing, and to be honest, it seems far too interesting and important a project to be just on a blog. Kind of like my blog. Just kidding.
(Thanks mowry, for the site)

Nice meeting you, you're lame

I once was part of a facebook group called, "I dislike 85% of the people I meet" but based on recent recalculations, it's approximately %75. Look what a generous, tolerant person I am. I am NOT repulsed by %25 of the people I meet. I call this recent sample group, "People that have come to see my flat/that I may soon be living with," quite unfortunately. Due to a crackhead employer/work permit issues, my dearly loved flatmate will be leaving the oasis of the East End.

Thus, enter the 4 total strangers that I've met over the past few days.

No.1. Australian male, 27, looks like he plays with star wars figurines in his spare time. Says he's a journalist, but, in an internal monologue, I suggest that he only writes a blog about his fantasy basketball team.

No.2. Australian girl. Quite liked her. There's always an exception. (update: naturally, she decided she wanted to live this far east. Far east, my heiny). On second thought, she sucks for not appreciating the neighborhood.

No. 3. Dweeby French Girl. Is it wrong to dislike people because they're just that ugly?
On the plus side, she does have a subscription to the Economist, and for once, I will look good next to a French girl.

No. 4. The Princess. I'm sorry, if you've clearly demonstrated just how stupid you are before we've even met, I can't imagine that we'll have a beautiful future together.And no, when I'm waiting on a street corner for you, "running into a shop because i just HAD to have that dress" is not a legitimate excuse for being late. Piss off.

So, wish me luck, people. I don't have much patience for the general population, and I need a wicked new flatmate. Know anyone (that doesn't suck) that needs a flat in London?